I'm so glad to live in a nation founded on the principles of social equality and judeochristian values. As I read about the push to develop smart body armor for our soldiers, I think about the parallel push to cut food stamps and SNAP benefits, and I think, thank god! What we need is the capacity to wage global war at a moment's notice, not children with full bellies. Why can't liberals understand this?

Similarly, as we allow our public education infrastructure to erode, while simultaneously hanging a debtor's noose around those lucky, determined and talented enough to make it through higher education, I think - yes, this is what Jesus would do! If God wanted poor brown children to read, he would have made them rich and white!

As for the push to prevent millions of Americans from having access to health insurance for the first time, this is so obviously based in scripture that I don't even need to defend it. Blessed are the meek, it is said. The economic and social pressures being applied to the lives of most Americans are simply designed to ensure their meekness until the Lord returns.

If people could stop trying to eek out a meager existence in this world and just focus on their reward in the kingdom which is to follow, things would be much easier for the corrupt politicians and Objectivist billionaires to finish the establishment of dystopia.

Get with the program people. Stop telling people to read, vote and think. Allow them to sink further into economic quicksand. Ignore the cries of your neighbor's children. Attack the poor for the crime of their poverty. Close your eyes, throw a dart at a map of the Middle East, and prepare to invade randomly.

You know, learn to be a 'Murican.